This blog comes straight from my heart and experience over the last seven months. I am writing this in hopes of giving the readers a warning sign list in regards to what I call “energy vampires.” An energy vampire is someone who steals your time and energy. Some do it knowingly while many others do not. That old saying of “notice how you feel around others,” as far as if you feel invigorated or depleted by spending time with them is spot on.
My work with yoga rehabilitation has taught me a lot about how to shield myself while working with others to not over give. I have learned to put my time and energy into those students and clients who really want to do the work to get better and change their condition whether it be physical or psychological and most times its both. The body and mind are so deeply intertwined.
Somehow I can separate it easily in work but in my personal life this time, I could not. Thus, it was my lesson to learn. As I have successfully rid my life of this person I can now share my insight while it is fresh. Already I feeI a great weight of oppression has been lifted off my shoulders and I can live my life peacefully. Peace is paramount. I don’t want to go deep into my story as it’s not necessary. The best thing I can do is share what I have learned in hopes of others being able to see a red flag earlier.
1. Trust your gut feeling upon meeting someone. If your body says no or something is off trust it.
2. Notice how you feel after being around friends or family. Do you feel drained? If so, this is a sign.
3. Look for traits of narcissism. Read up on it and educate yourself. One example is that the person will always talk about themselves. All conversations will always go back to them.
4. Are you doing all the giving in the friendship/relationship? If so this is another unhealthy sign of imbalance in a relationship.
5. Beware of people who seem to doubt you. Also people who make you an enemy in their eyes. A healthy relationship of any kind should be about championing each other in life not being at war with each other.
6. Do they try to control you in any way, shape or form?
7. Beware if they try to isolate you from other friends orfamily. Yep. Big time red flag.
8. Watch out for them being overly critical about YOUR life. Again healthy relationships are about accepting and loving one another as best you can while letting others be on their journey and grow.
10. Projection: as stated in the dictionary is:
A.)An unconscious self-defence mechanism characterised by a person unconsciously attributing their own issues onto someone or something else as a form of delusion and denial.
B.) A way to blame others for your own negative thoughts by repressing them and then attributing them to someone else. Due to the sorrowful nature of delusion and denial it is very difficult for the target to be able to clarify the reality of the situation.
11. Look out for people who are always angry, irritated or deeply unhappy. Whatever we are inside is all we have to give. Don’t give too much time to people who are chronically unhappy or tend to have drastic mood swings regularly.
12. Be aware if you feel like you have to walk on egg shells with the person that you’re spending time with or that no matter what you do you can never do right by them. This is another big red flag.
In conclusion, we all may have small aspects of these traits in ourselves. The idea as a true yogi is to do the inner work investigating the patterns of the thoughts and actions we take. The more we practice, the more we become aware of how our thoughts and actions impact our own life and the lives of others. Be advised this is not possible for all people. People such as sociopaths cannot change their behavior. Even a therapist will not work with them because they know its a mental wiring that is different.
Our time and energy is a precious thing. We only get so much of it. Be mindful of the people you keep close to you. A healthy relationship should feed the soul, not deplete it.
Written by Owner of ZOE Yoga Lifestyle,